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but daddy scolded me for not haggling when i bought them..

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06:40 pm
8/6/09

join the herd

samespace
i'm leaving
i will not delete this account, because i want to go back to something. in the meantime i moved to another LJ account. it's no longer friends only. [info]my_zoetrope 

i'm hoping i don't have to move out again. i don't know why i keep on leaving.
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03:01 am
6/15/09

join the herd

samespace
Things I would tell myself when I think too much
We are afraid of losing hold of something already beautiful
It's like balancing an egg in a spoon with your mouth
We must never lose hold, we must never let it fall
But we slip, every now and then
We break eggs every now and then
Sometimes we don't mean it
sometimes we do, just because it feels good to do so,
because it's so FUCKING liberating.

We build a wall of words, words, words around us
To protect us from more words, words, words that could hurt us
But there are so many words, words, words that we become trapped
We get suffocated, and we cannot breathe
To fight words with more words would entangle us in so much words.

Just SHUT UP. Okay? Shut up.
Stop overthinking.
Stop overtalking.
Stop overpowering.
Stop overanalyzing.
Stop overexplaining.
Stop overdefending.

If you won't, then you won't get anything.
You'd think you'd have your way by repressing others with your loudness
But you only get what you give and not what others give.

Just shut up once in a while.
Just listen.
Thank you very much.

Calm down
Look around
Open up
Make way
Stay silent for now
You'd see more clearly through the open space uncluttered with words.

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Not a poem, just thoughts 'jotted down'.
* * *
09:02 am
3/23/09

4 fluffy bunnies
join the herd

samespace
I therefore conclude
that life is a constant struggle.
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10:01 am
2/17/08

5 fluffy bunnies
join the herd

samespace
I wish it didn't have to be, but...

This journal is Friends Only. :)

 comment to be added.
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09:22 am
2/17/08

3 fluffy bunnies
join the herd

samespace
System.out.println("Hello, world!");

  Lately, I've been enthralled by one thing: that in your very ordinary moment, something beautiful, macabre,  sad or happy happened in that same space you're occupying thousands or millions of moments ago.

 I walk in the street. And, in several places, moving holograms of me and my friend (former boyfriend) mold in my mind. The scenes play all over again, and many different feelings rush to me all at once. I miss it all so, so, so much. Nothing would ever bring me back to them, nor make me forget them, unless I get Alzheimer's, an eternal sunshine on a spotless mind thing, or something.

 The world keeps on turning, the sun and the stars keep on shining, the moon keeps on hanging and peeping at night. People keep on coming into the world, people keep on passing away from the world. Hearts entwine, hearts break. You are but a little fragment in this world. So am I.

  I don't know how many guys and heartbreaks I'd take, but I know that the one I will spend the rest of my life with is living and breathing under the sky, my sky, our sky. I haven't met him yet, but I know I love him already. And I am waiting, and I am willing, whoever you are.

  As of now, there's so much more to life than romance. I am not yet over my former, my first. It's been only one month. But I'll be okay. I'll be much better. And I am getting better. I have my own life now, and I'm going to make it better. I'm going to find myself. I'm going to love myself the way I never had.

  My old LJ is pretty much "full". I'm starting a new one.

  I'm not really expecting you to understand me. In fact, I think you think that I am foolish, or a little too dramatic. I wish I could waste my time defending myself, but maybe not. It doesn't really matter.

  You'll know what I mean, anyway. :)

Tags:
location:
 my house
mood:
 complacent complacent
music:
 the smashing pumpkins: '1979'
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